Remove the Fear of Being Alone

by dena on January 20, 2014

If you have recently lost a friend, spouse, or loved one due to a breakup, divorce, or even death, it can be difficult moving on. Understandably, if you also lived with this person it can be even more difficult. You may begin to feel nervousness, anxiety, stress, or terror at the thought of being alone. I’m here to tell you that it is possible to move through these feelings. It is possible to feel happiness again. And here’s how.

Take Time To Grieve

Whatever your situation may be, take the time you need to fully grieve. While you are doing so, here are a few things to keep in mind. As best as possible:

  • Avoid obsessing over the reasons why your relationship/marriage has ended.
  • Do not blame yourself or “beat yourself up” for anything that may have occurred.
  • Consider attending a support group (i.e., bereavement support group, if you’ve lost someone to death).
  • Remember, it’s better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.

Love Yourself Completely

Enjoy your own company

One reason many fear being alone is because they were accustomed to having another person around; habits were formed, you became comfortable, you connected on every level, and now that has all disappeared. You may feel as if a part of you is now missing. You may begin to feel as though you do not know who you are anymore. For these reasons it’s very important you take the time to build that same love you felt for this person, for yourself. There are a few ways you can build self-love, including:

  • Practice self-compassion. Remember, self-love begins by being compassionate to yourself.
  • Meditate. Meditation is a great way to build yourself up while helping you to relax.
  • Exercise (such as yoga). Exercise helps to release endorphins, helping you to feel better.

Be More Social

Yes, you lost someone dear to you, but that is no reason to lock yourself away, becoming a hermit. Your friends love you and want to support you during this tough time – let them. Even something as simple as a hug from a friend or family member can release endorphins that will help to boost your mood. Make time to see your friends and family more often, get out and try something new, practice a hobby together, or just have a few people over for snacks.

Enjoy the Time

Is there somewhere you want to go or something you want to do but have not had the time to do so? Take the time to do it now, or use your newly found time to learn a new hobby, participate in a new activity, or something else that speaks to your heart. The world is at your feet, embrace it!

 You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
– Siddhartha Gautama

You might like the book, Living Through Grief: Love Revealed. If you enjoy being inspired and captivated by reading stories from real life, you will be charmed by this book. It is the 3rd in the Love Revealed series.


Blissings, Dena

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Thank you for this post, Dena! I lost two daughters 17 years ago and recently I lost a relation I really wanted to have. It's such a comfort to be reminded of how to deal with losses. Eventhough I thought that I had experience and "knew how to do" I didn't. So thank you for reminding me!


Oh, Anki, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughters and others, such heartaches. I certainly discovered that my background in offering grief support did not give me any shortcuts in grieving when my husband and my mother died. Another post is on our FaceBook page right now, "Love Transcends Death" - - if you are interested. With love, ~ Dena

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