“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.”
– Unknown
Every day we waste countless hours comparing our unique traits to the traits of others. We may begin to feel inadequate or unworthy the more “perfect” someone else appears to be in our mind. Comparing ourselves to others ends up damaging our own self -esteem.
A Losing Battle
When we compare ourselves to others we pick out what we perceive as their perfections, things we feel we’ll never achieve, and compare them to what we believe are flaws. Instead of finding a fair measurement, we end up depleting our confidence. Additionally, comparisons focus on what the other person has that we do not, making us feel as if we lack something.
In the end, the more we dwell on these things, the more they fester and grow in our minds. This results in our unhappiness and displeasure for ourselves. We wind up devaluing ourselves.
Learning To Love Yourself
In a losing battle of comparison, it’s time to embrace winning by learning how to love ourselves.
First and foremost, we must stop the comparison game in its tracks, or at the very least redirect it. Instead of comparing ourselves to something unattainable, we can instead compare ourselves to previous versions of who we once were. We can then see how much we’ve grown, improved, and achieved over the years, thus boosting our self-esteem.
Other ways to build self-love include:
- Create a list of the things you excel at or traits you love about yourself. Focus your attention on this list when you begin to feel unhappy with yourself.
- Spend time complimenting yourself instead of complaining. If you begin to feel a harsh criticism taking hold, compliment yourself instead.
- Practice and learn to grow. Practice a skill or learn a new subject to help yourself grow and achieve new heights.
- Never set limits for yourself. When we tell ourselves “I’ll never be able to do…” we restrict ourselves and downplay our abilities.
- Keep a gratitude journal. At least a few times each week, jot what you are grateful for in your life. Often read some of your earlier entries, to inspire more appreciation.
- When you notice critical thoughts arising, replace it with a thought of prayer of gratitude.
Is there something you do daily or regularly to reduce comparison and improve self-love? Let us know in the comments!
Blissings, Dena
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